I’ve been encouraged to return to the blog and embrace the therapy that comes with it. I get sick of writing the same thing over and over again. “I’m depressed, I don’t know what to do anymore, here’s hoping to a better tomorrow.”
What is different, is a new cocktail of medicines. One causing the most vivid dreams with the worst case of night sweats. Every night. I’ve added meditation to the routine and use different guided sessions by Tara Brach.
I’ve gone as far as knowing how much of certain doses of certain pills would cause an overdose. This is new ground for me to be that suicidal. I’m just so done feeling like this. At this same time our Elders Quorum President and a Stake Counselor stopped by and offered to give me a blessing. Unbeknownst to them about how bad I really am.
Don’t worry, I will never go through with it. That’s all for today.